Christmas is a season full of ethical decisions for a Christian. Do we tell our children the story of Santa Clause? Do we put a tree in our home? Do we participate in the materialistic frenzy of the season by buying gifts for others? A gentleman that I know from San Francisco asked me about my thoughts on these matters, so I thought I’d give a brief response to each:
Do we tell our children the story of Santa Clause?
Personally, I have no intention of telling my children the story of Santa Clause as it is commonly told. Ol’ Saint Nick is based on a real, historical person though. Nicholas was the Bishop of Myra. He was a faithful Christian pastor who was known for his generosity toward the poor. He suffered for the name of Christ under the persecutions of the Roman Emperor Diocletian. To put the cherry on top he was in attendance at the Council of Nicaea where the Arian heresy was defeated.
Now, if you prefer to tell a story about a magic, overweight man who flies a sleigh around the world at night giving gifts to children based on merit, go ahead! I cannot think of a better figure that Nicholas of Myra to use as a display of the generosity that comes when the gospel changes lives! To learn more, go here.
Do you put a Christmas tree in your home?
Yes! I know some misguided people have “seen” a prohibition against Christmas trees in Jeremiah 10.1-10, but let me remind readers of that text that (1) Jeremiah knew nothing of “Christmas tree” and (2) the passage addresses the creation of idols, not hanging cute ornaments on a tree. We must be careful when we quote Scripture like this.
It appears that the Christmas tree has uncertain origins. I have read that people used to cut down the tree and put it in their home as a reminder that life will return in spite of that winter season. If that is the case then I see no harm in that. Another suggestion is that Protestant Germans used it as the “Tree of Life” in the “Garden of Eden” (again, symbolizing life). At the end of the day though it is important to realize that the historical significance is one thing, but the significance you and your family provide the tree is something different.
Some put up a tree because it is tradition and it reminds them of good times with family and friends. Some see it as a reminder of “life” during a winter season. If you see it as an idol and you find yourself bowing before it, well, then that may be a problem, but my assumption is that most people don’t do this!
Do you buy gifts for others?
In recent years my wife and I have been influenced by the “Advent Conspiracy” people which seek to minimize spending-for-the-sake-of-spending and a return to giving gifts of significance.We try not to buy gifts for others out of obligation. The last two years my wife has made home made baked goods and we have asked our families to give funds to particular worthy causes rather than buying us more “stuff”. If they still want to send us something like a card or a small gift, that is welcomed, but we don’t want them to run around worried about what to get us or worried that they will have to charge more to their Visa so that everyone gets something.
It is this type of materialism that ruins the holidays. But is giving itself wrong? Are gifts wrong?
While I do think it is wrong to go into debt in order to purchase things for others out of some sort of holiday obligation this does not mean it is wrong to give gifts. Actually, I think giving gifts is great. What is wrong with being giving? As long as it is done thoughtfully, and within one’s financial means, it is a good thing.
So give, give, give! But don’t go into debt doing it, don’t buy things with no personality and out of obligation, and don’t forget about what Christmas is really about which is Christ’s giving of himself and the Father’s giving of his Son…these things outweigh remote control cars and video games!
Thank you for this post…I especially appreciate your thoughts on St. Nicholas. My wife and I recently found out she is pregnant and have discussed the issue of playing along with Santa. I just don’t feel like lying to my children yet I want them to experience the childhood “magic” of the holidays. A couple of days ago the thought of studying the origins of “St. Nick” came to mind though I have not pursued it yet.
Do you simply tell you children the story of St. Nicholas as the origin of our traditions or do you somehow relate that to how they got this stuff under the tree? What are some good resources where I could begin research on St. Nicholas? Thanks!
@Matthew: I have not done extensive research on St. Nicholas. He seems to be a popular figure, but not one who has received the attention of contemporaries like Athanasius. It would be interesting to do an Amazon.com search to see if anyone has given him a full, scholarly treatment.
As regards the story of Nicholas and the tree I think that I would emphasize his giving to the needy, how the gifts represent that giving (one to another within the family), and then maybe have a gift under the tree for another needy child to whom your child could give that gift in the spirit of St. Nicholas’ generosity.
At least that is what comes off the top of my head!
That sounds like a great lesson for children…much better than the greediness taught my drowning them in a pile of gifts. Thanks for your response!
You’re welcome!
My wife and I decided early on that we were going to tell our girls the truth about Santa from the very beginning. We have no problem talking about Santa and even pretending that he’s real, but we’re very clear that it’s pretend and he doesn’t play a role in any of our family traditions. But, we’ve also been very careful to explain to the girls that other families do things differently and that they shouldn’t go telling all the other kids that Santa’s not real. The last thing we want is a bunch of angry parents wanting to know why our kids ruined their traditions!
@Marc: That is another approach. I have a feeling that even if I told my (future) children not to tell other kids that their “Santa Clause” isn’t real it is unlikely they will listen….being my descendants and all!
Hmmm, good point. Of course, they’ll be Miranda’s descendants too, so maybe there’s still hope.
Nope! Actually,that settles that our kids will make sure to tell everyone how it really is! 🙂
I had to put up the wife’s tree yesterday.
But no Santa Claus nonsense.
A few gifts.
We’ll be watching the Nativity Story.
😀
I like how you worded that “…the wife’s tree…”. 🙂
You picked up on that, man! 🙂
Our approach is like the one that Marc C. and wife take.
One time, when I was 3 a man in our church asked me what Santa had brought me for Christmas . . . my response, “Santa is dead!” Does this surprise you 😉 .
Brian, I like your “truth-telling” on this . . . like I said, we do the same with our kids (do you have kids yet?).
@Bobby:
No children yet! I wouldn’t be ready. 🙂
All I know is (1) I was a bit ticked off when I found out that my parents had “lied” to me and (2) I will be asking them to believe some pretty crazy things like a resurrection, a New Covenant Spirit, and a returning Lord, not to mentioned the Trinity, the Exodus, and that God speaks through a particular book. That is a hard sell, I don’t want them to wonder if I am just telling another lie a bit bigger and more complex than the Santa one once they discover the Santa one wasn’t true.
I decided not to really tell my daughter about Santa and have never made a deal out of him. Still once she started going to school she found out and asks. I don’t tell her he’s not real since I don’t want her being that kid that ruins it for parents who enjoy that particular tradition with their kids. I generally change the subject or play down whatever she may have mentioned about Santa. Mainly I don’t want her seeing Santa in the same boat as God and since we don’t pray to Santa every night I don’t think that will really be a problem.
I don’t care so much about gifts. Do whatever you feel like. I’ll give and receive a bunch of gifts and there will be plenty of stress to go along with all the shopping. That’s just what happens on Christmas and I find it kind of fun honestly. Truthfully I’m not too big into the religious aspect of Christmas. I prefer it more as it’s own typical American holiday with all it’s traditions and stuff. Religiously it doesn’t really mean much to me.
@Bryan: I appreciate your handing of the Santa situation. It seems like the most difficult thing with not bringing Santa into the life of a kid is preventing s/he from taking it from someone else!
I think I see the gift buying exercise the other way. I really enjoy the religious side of Advent and I go batty when I have to go the mall (unless there is a movie theater in the mall).
Brian,
Ready, who is? 🙂
I think your line of thought is really good per Santa. I agree with you!
@Bobby: Touche, well noted. I guess it is never possible to be “ready”, but I do know some people that if they found out today they had a little one on the way would smile. I’d probably go into my closet and cry.
That’s funny, Brian 🙂 .
I just posted an article today on this very topic. To give a snippet of the post:
Simply stated, I believe God takes great delight in the amazing opportunity of drawing children into magical tales of ‘otherworldy’ accounts. Those stories that begin with, ‘Once upon a time….,’ are the stories that capture our hearts. And, so, there truly is something magical about the whole setting of Santa Claus and Christmas. Or there should be. If you don’t think so, watch The Polar Express. Absolutely fantastically magical!
This is why you had someone like C.S. Lewis writing the series, The Chronicles of Narnia (and other stories). None of it is real. But in these we find remarkably enchanting tales that speak of something greater, that somehow give us a taste of another world….
You see, I find no harm in letting children be drawn in to the marvellous stories available to us. Let it be The Lion King or Aladdin or whatever other story (in book or film form). But they captivate kids (and us). And I think God meant it that way. In that amazement, I believe children are getting a touch of their creative Father and the age to come that will be beyond anything we could think or imagine. John’s Revelation was simply imagery to explain what is to come. Not the complete picture.
And so, with good ol’ Saint Nick, or Santa Claus, here is a character who stands as a magical draw into something more than we see here in this world, something special and otherworldly. We don’t have to be afraid of such. Nor do we have to preach the gospel in some cheesy way every time we talk of Santa Claus. Rather we allow children, and even ourselves, to be captured by such a character and story, revelling in the fact that this calls us into the greatest story and character of all time.
@Brian: I appreciate your idea of teaching children about the actual person of St. Nick. You can use that to highlight the sharing aspect of the season. Otherwise the character of Santa Claus simply devolves into worrying about what he will bring ME. That and fearing that if you do not behave well then you get nothing! 😉
@Scott: I support narrative and fairy tales! In fact, I think we live life in such a sense that many of us see ourselves as characters within our own self-constructed narrative and Christian salvation must include our merging of this narrative with the narrative of Christ if we are going to find our true humanity. That being said, there is often a difference between how children are told the story of Santa Clause and how we read them Narnia. I wouldn’t tell a child that Mr. Tumnus is “real” and that if you happen to come across him someday be aware that your closet may have entered you into Narnia.
Imagination is good because it fuels our possibilities for reality, or at worst, it allows us to escape reality for long enough to catch our breath.
Brian –
That being said, there is often a difference between how children are told the story of Santa Clause and how we read them Narnia. I wouldn’t tell a child that Mr. Tumnus is “real” and that if you happen to come across him someday be aware that your closet may have entered you into Narnia.
But we also don’t tell them or have to them that Mr Tumnus or Aslan is not real. I believe children eventually figure these things out. And even when they figure it out, I suppose we keep reading and telling the stories to them. Their imaginations are still captivated, as mine is at age 31.
So whether with Narnia or the North Pole, we tell the stories, see them drawn in and excited, and they figure out that neither are real (though we might never say they were real, though I am ok if some say they are real). And if a child asks, ‘Why did you never tell me Santa (or Narnia) wasn’t real?, then I would share with them what I highlighted in my article about how these tales remind us of a new creation that we long for and await.
@Brian great read and great post! I also like the way you use the story of St. Nick as a way to disciple the children.
@ScottL Well said! Like other forms of discipleship, we don’t have to tell them it’s false or true. We can talk about with a “once upon a time” mysticism.
Age-appropriate. Let them explore the wonders and mystery of fables and stories. I thought Aesop was telling truth stories when I was younger. Later I learned what literary genres were. I didn’t feel deceived by Aesop. Or by Big Bird, the talking Bird.
@Scott: Yes, I agree that children discover the difference eventually. But I remember the difference between going to bed after a story and the day my mother told me Santa Clause was not real. My reaction was much different than realizing Winnie the Pooh wasn’t real.
@James: I do think good ol’ St. Nick can be a great example, especially paired w. someone like St. Francis!
@Brian You were told Santa wasn’t real? I guess for me, I realized the fantasy of the story the older I got. I may have overheard some skeptics and combined with playground talk, it was an easy one, I guess. So there was no distraught reaction for… or any of my siblings.
The Post printed an editorial from Driscoll on this topic: http://onfaith.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/mark_driscoll/2010/12/what_we_tell_our_kids_about_santa.html
I guess I see it slightly different — agreeing, we don’t have to lie, but disagreeing that we have to tell them it’s all “make believe.” I get the grace of more years until I have children to decide 🙂
@James: My mother went from 60 to 0. She became convicted about it so she fessed up. I cried. Of course, I was relieved when I realized the total amount of Christmas presents would remain the same.