When I graduate from high school it seemed that I had Christianity figured out. I knew who was orthodox and who was heretical. I understood what everyone needed to know about doctrine in order to be part of the “real church”. It was simple. The only thing I needed to do now was develop a better understanding of Scripture in order to better defend “the truth”.
Then in college something happened. The more I learned about the Scriptures, the more I realized that I knew less than I thought I did. The more subjects I addressed, and the more vantage points with which I became acquainted, the more it was apparent that I didn’t have all the answers.
So after college I went to seminary. I graduate with a MA in Biblical and Theological Studies. I knew more at that point about Scripture and Christian theology than I had at any other point in my life. Similarly, I was even more aware of how much I did not know and I began to realize that there was a lot that I may never, ever know.
Some Christian groups dislike education because they think education corrupts good faith. This may be true at times. It is also true that education can be absolutely humiliating. Yes, much learning can puff one up with pride. I would contest that happy ignorance can do the very same thing.
The more I know the less I know. The more I learn the more I realize there is to be learned. While learning is good because ignorance often leads one down roads that are harmful to good faith, it is also a slap in the face. If learning is done correctly, it makes it even more apparent why the Apostle Paul emphasized that the “righteous one will live by faith” (Rom. 1.17; Gal. 3.11). If we lived by knowledge, as the gnostics preached, we’d all be condemned. Even when we know more and more we never penetrate the depths of God’s truth.
Even in our orthodoxy we cannot capture, nor contain, God. We can say all the right things about God without knowing God at all. We can line up all our t’s and dot all our i’s, yet be as distant from God as the most hard hearted atheist.
Does this make orthodoxy not worth pursuing? Not at all. When one pursues the truth one gets closer to the Truth, Jesus Christ. When one’s heart is soften by the Spirit one avoids more and more error that can lead a person toward heart ache and misery. So we must seek truth Truth.
Over the last few months I have had the opportunity to interact with some readers of this blog who are in their undergraduate programs hoping to one day journey further into academics. I know some who are just beginning seminary or graduate school. As I look ahead to those who are further along the journey than I (those in Ph.D. programs, those who have recently graduated, those who have been teaching and writing for years) let me give advice to those who are further back down the trail: do not rest on your knowledge.
Some of you are 100 x’s smarter than I. Do not rest on your natural intelligence. Do not think that the “answers” you obtain on the journey equate to having arrived. You will never arrive until the day you stand before Christ waiting to hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Be humble, yet do not be afraid to ask hard questions. Be creative, but do not ignore the voices of Christians who have come before you. Use your mind to its fullest capabilities, yet never worship your mind. Always worship your Creator.
Do not be afraid of the statement, “I don’t know.” You are not saved by knowing. You are saved by the Christ in whom you have placed your trust and in whom you have declared your allegiance.
One final word: be diligent. If you are one of those naturally intelligent people (I am not) do not rest on your skills. We need you to do work hard while remaining humble. We, the church, need you to submit your intellect to the Spirit. If you are like me and you have to sweat and scrap for every ounce of understanding you obtain, do not be intimidated. You do not have to be Augustine of Hippo, or John Calvin, or Karl Barth, or N.T. Wright to be useful in the Kingdom of God. You have to be who God called you to be. If you give yourself wholly to that you will do your heavenly Master proud.
the archives near Emmaus 
Thanks for this!
I am not a theology or seminary student, I am in early childhood, actually – so my “professional” knowledge has very little to do with religion. However, in my free time, for as long as I can remember, I have studied religion, theology, and eschatology on my own – I’ve studied Christianity and other faiths in depth. And you’re right that it can be so confusing at times. I really do feel like I know less and less the more I learn.
While I still believe in Jesus – I often feel distant and alienated from Christianity as a whole, because I question everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.
I’m glad you wrote this post because I was just asking God this morning, “Should I keep learning and searching, or should I just give up, be ignorant, but be happy and have more faith?”
So I guess your post is my answer. Keep searching 🙂
Once again, Brian, you are right on. The academy has put me through the ringer, and I am still holding on to my faith by a string, but I am much more humble about what is true and especially my knowledge of it.
people in our congregation or even visitors from time to time who might ask a question about some point of theology or understanding of a Bible passage and I rarely give then definitive answers – I just say ” that could be a way of looking at it…” They don’t like it that much. lol! So, in sum, I say “I don’t know” all the time. 🙂
Amen, Brian. Over the years I have had opportunity to journey with folks on the road to ordination to pastoral ministry. My best counsel to them — don’t be afraid to answer a question with “I don’t know” or “My best guess at the moment is…” Ordination councils (at least those with integrity and not intent on having someone parrot the company line) can smell a snow job a mile away. My spiritual director is famous for saying, “This is my best guess and it’s probably not worth the price of a cup of coffee at the local convenience store.”
@Kirei: It will be a search until the end. I don’t think this means we never “know” anything, we just never know it fully, and sometimes we are flat our wrong. If we don’t come with a humble posture we can circles around in a lie for a very long time because there is no exit ramp of truth available. Continue the journey, its worth it!
@Chad: It is funny how we journey to know more about truth only to have everything we know shaken. I think this is part of the reward though. Purification by academic fire!
Brian: We need more pastors like you! Pastors are spiritual guides, not gnostic sages, and there is a huge difference! I am more likely to listen to a pastor who knows s/he doesn’t know sometimes than one who always has an “answer”.
Clayton: My Th.M. advisor said something very similar about going into a final oral defense in the program. They know when you don’t know, so it is better so say it!
Fantastic post, right on the money! That’s all.
Bravo! Excellent words of encouragement Brian. I say “I don’t know” all the time. When I was younger I use to study the bible with two older pastors and many times they would tell me “we will know when we get to heaven”, that was there way of telling me they don’t know. I used to get really bothered by that, but as I’ve grown older I realize how much I don’t know and how humble they were for admitting that. It took me a long time to learn this, to be “…useful in the Kingdom of God. You have to be who God called you to be.”. I’ve become comfortable in my skin in the last 10 years, and stop being so ambitious in everything I do. I’m glad to see that you have learned one of lifes greatest lesson at a young age. “Serve you well, it will.”
And I know what you’re saying, Brian; but I would suggest we never arrive, given the ineffable nature of God. “And this is eternal life, that they may know you; the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” Jn 17.3
It seems like we’ll always be in a state of “learning” (or worship) . . . even when we know, even as we’re known.
So I agree with you, push on! There is a continuity between the communion/fellowship we share with the Father, by the Son, through the Holy Spirit now; that will of course be intensified and realized — but really only as the “beginning” of what we have now “eternal life!”
Good provocative thoughts, Brian.
@Stuart: Thanks!
@Robert: As Paul said, we only see through a glass darkly, but then face to face. Or as the Johannine epistles say, we will know him when he appears. For now, we settle for glimpses.
@Bobby: I agree, I don’t think we ever arrive. Even in the age to come, we will know more, but we won’t exhaust God.
I really appreciated this post. Good thoughts and good food for further thought. I’m not a seminarian, though I would love to get a higher education in the realm of theology. I study on my own and have come to a similar understanding – the more I know the less I know. And knowing about is not the same as knowing.