[If you haven’t read the previous posts in this series you can find them here: Pt. 1 here; Pt. 2 here; Pt. 3 here; Pt. 4 here; Pt. 5 here]
This week will be the final one wherein I give advice for how to make a healthy transition away from the Oneness Pentecostal movement. In my next post I will say something about protecting one’s heart from bitterness (a very, very difficult task). After that I will wrap up the series with some final words on the matter. Today I want to address what I see as the most dangerous pendulum swing one can engage once they leave.
I have seen several female friends realize that Deut. 22.5 is tucked into a passage that if read in context doesn’t seem very applicable to women in the New Covenant (i.e. this was a specific commandment to Israel for reasons oft debated). Likewise, they notice that 1 Cor. 11.1-16 seems to be addressing an underlying subject related to healthy respect between males and females while the outward expression (head coverings) seems to be very culturally specific. They move from these ery correct observations to some very misguided one’s concerning other biblical imperatives. After years of reading Scripture as very two dimensional it becomes apparent that they have lost confidence in how to interpret the moral imperatives of Scripture.
If I can cut my hair, wear jeans, and drink a beer, why can’t I get drunk once in a while, sleep with a few people, and so forth and so on. For those who have never left such an environment this may seem absurd, but it is a reality for many. Scripture has been read as (A) a guide to good Christian living and (B) a guide to the associated morality. No one has ever taught them to read critically to ask what underlying motives do we find for particular biblical imperatives. What is the character of God? Why are some things only applicable for Israel under the Old Covenant but not for Christians under the New Covenant?
We cannot dive into a hermeneutics lesson here. All I can say is be careful not to throw away everything once you find that some things are wrong. You will learn that while your mother may not speak to you because you cut your hair or watched a movie in a theater that this is a totally different consequence to sleeping around with several sexual partners or trying new and exciting drugs.
You do have common sense and the Spirit is still with you. There are some things you have been taught that once abandoned will be freeing (like Paul when he realized under the New Covenant that Christ was his Sabbath or that the foods of the Gentiles could now be consumed); other things will be devastating (which is why Paul continues to speak against sexual immorality, abusing one’s body, cheating, stealing, lying, and a list of other sins against God).
One area to begin is this: Jesus said that the Law of God boils down to loving God first and my neighbor as myself. Does cutting your hair (if you are a girl) in our culture show that you do not love God or neighbor? No. Does wearing jeans do this? No. Does going to the movie theater do this? Probably not. Does having a beer with a friend? No.
What about sleeping around? Yes, check the emotional after effect on your “neighbor” as well as against God who created us to be monogamous. What about drunkenness? Have you ever seen how drunks impact their neighbor? What about drug use and abusing your body? Yes. What about lying, cheating, stealing, and those types of sins. Yes!
While this does not mean you will never find yourself in a moral quagmire. It does mean you will have a principle that Jesus taught us that will assist you in forming new, balanced, healthy moral convictions.
Being a Christian is about being a disciple of Christ. Being a disciple of Christ is not something you can learn in a “Being a Disciple for Dummies” book. It takes a life time.
You will make more mistakes. You will hold to some convictions that later you will realize were no big deal. You will abandon some you wish you had maintained. It’s a journey, a long one, so be ready.
But it is a journey you must take. Following Christ is never easy. Sometimes, like Abraham, to follow the voice of God, we must leave our comfort zone and just begin walking. It won’t always be easy, but it is better than staying put when you know you should have gone.
the archives near Emmaus 
As someone who’s going though this exit process and facing a lot of abandonment by so-called “friends” and “family”, I really appreciate all you have shared. It brings me hope. Thank you for being open with your journey.
@Lizzie: I am sorry to hear this, though it is to be expected. It is a hard, hard transition to make, but once it is done you began meeting people who remain your friends not on the basis of whether or not you do A, B, and C, but simply because they are your friends.
I am glad to hear that my own journey has given you strength in your own. I pray that the Spirit helps you as you continue to go through difficult yet important changes.
Thanks, Brian. I find a lot of encouragement in your writing on this issue, and hope and pray that readers who are still in unhealthy/controlling/etc. churches will, too! Have you found that people from the OP churches hit moral/ethical struggles and failures after they formally leave, or do those issues start popping out of their (repressed) lives before?
@Ken: Both. There are some who “play the part” (actually, there are many). Others give themselves to all the rules with all their might and then suddenly once they realize one thing they have been taught is faulty they suddenly lose all stability and quickly slide into trying many things they’ll regret. Others are more balanced and make smooth transitions, but I think these are rarer in my experience.
Yeah I agree with u on the stanards you can’t take one scripture and build a doctrine or impose a dress code. I find it strange that most of the standards are imposed on the women.
@arm: Yes, there is much more imposed on women then men, though I must say, I always thought it very weird that men couldn’t wear shorts. I know my legs aren’t that nice!
I don’t understand how they can imply that deut 22:5 is against a woman wearing pants because if u read further in the passage it talks mixing different fabrics. And besides they didn’t wear pants back then.
@arm: The Deut. 22.5 rule always bothered me, even when I tried to be a good Oneness Pentecostal for a few years. I couldn’t figure out how they could pull one part of that passage out of context to make a rule for women while ignoring all the came before and after it. I know they cite the word “abomination”, but contextually that seems a bit inconsequential.
I also think they pull the hair one out of context to. Because I’ve heard it preached by different radio preachers that it if a woman had short hair that she a woman of ill repute.
@arm: It is a complex passage, but yes, it is likely dealing with proper adornment for respectable women in first century Corinth and the issue is primarily head-coverings (i.e. veils).
Brian:
Your comment”
“once they realize one thing they have been taught is faulty they suddenly lose all stability and quickly slide into trying many things they’ll regret.”
is so insightful. It reminds me of Eve at the temptation.
Genesis 3:3
but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, NOR SHALL YOU TOUCH IT, lest you die.’
Eve added to God’s word by saying she was not allowed to touch the fruit – God never said that. Then with a little prodding by the serpent, she slingshot back the opposite direction and sinned. First she added to God’s word. Then she took away from God’s word.
It’s dangerous to make up moral laws God never gave.
Thanks for your great post.